tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
