So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
