I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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