Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
