She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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