Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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