i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sext me about skeletons
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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