Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
