What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
