Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
