And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
