Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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