that's an acceptable place to lick
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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