Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
