the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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