white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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