She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
