I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
