my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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