I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
