the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
