U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
