I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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