I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
