Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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