I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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