You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
