I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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