Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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