he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
