Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
