I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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