I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
