okay pat passed out under dana's car
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
