Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
