Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
