i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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