she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
