you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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