Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
