I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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