It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
