No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
