my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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