well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
