she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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