i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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