There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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