she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm just crazy horny about you
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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