You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
