Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
