I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
